I was speaking to someone recently who was weighing up a possible career move.
,The problem was that she had already escalated the job in question into The Most Important Decision Of Her Entire Life.
It had become:
Not just a job.
Not just a new direction.
Not even simply a sensible thing to explore.
No. This job was apparently going to determine whether she had made something of herself, whether she had “wasted” the career she had built so far, whether she would regret everything in five years’ time, and possibly whether her children would one day look back on her with respect.
It had become, in other words, much bigger than a job.
And I understand it. Especially when you have been in a role for a long time, or you have worked hard to get where you are, or you are at that point in life where choices can feel as though they ought to come with a lovely little brass plaque and a legally binding contract.
We start asking questions that sound sensible on the surface, but which are almost impossible to answer.
What if it is the wrong decision?
What if I do not like it?
What if I leave, and then regret leaving?
What if I take it, and then wish I had stayed?
What if this is my last chance to get it right?
And then, before long, you are not choosing between two jobs. You are standing in the middle of your kitchen, mentally trying to predict the entire rest of your life, which is a fairly ridiculous thing to ask of anyone before they have even had a second interview.
You are not marrying your next job.
There will be no speeches. No nervous father of the bride. No one will stand up halfway through the probation period and ask whether anybody has any lawful reason why this employment should not continue.
You are allowed to take a job and discover it is not what you hoped. You are allowed to stay somewhere for a year, learn a great deal, meet useful people, earn good money, regain your confidence, and then decide that you have had enough.
You are allowed to move because something feels interesting, even before you can explain it in a neat little sentence that makes everybody around you feel comfortable.
You are allowed to change your mind.
This is not to say that career decisions do not matter. Of course they do. Salary matters. Stability matters. The people you work with matter. Your energy, your family, your finances, your commute, your pension, your sense of self. I am not suggesting you accept a role because the office has a very nice coffee machine and somebody mentioned there might be a summer party.
But there is a difference between taking a decision seriously and treating it as a final verdict on your life.
Sometimes a job is exactly what you need for the next chapter, even if it is not where you will stay forever.
Sometimes it gives you a new skill, a different industry, a little breathing room, a better title, a stronger story, or simply a way out of a place that has become too small for you.
Sometimes it helps you work out what you do not want, which is not glamorous, but is still useful information. Possibly some of the most useful information there is.
We tend to look at other people’s careers as though they have followed a very clear path, each decision leading elegantly to the next. But most people’s careers are much messier than that. There are jobs they took because they needed the money. Jobs they stayed in too long. Jobs they loved for a while and then quietly outgrew. Jobs that looked impressive on paper but made them miserable by Tuesday lunchtime.
The story only starts looking tidy afterwards.
And perhaps that is where some of the pressure comes from. We want to make the perfect choice now because we do not want to have to explain ourselves later.
But you do not need to be able to explain the next ten years before you take one step.
You only need to ask whether this is a direction worth exploring.
Whether it gives you something you need.
Whether staying exactly where you are is costing you more than you have admitted.
Whether you are avoiding a move because it is genuinely wrong for you, or because the idea of not knowing how it will turn out makes your chest feel a bit tight.
A career move can be a chapter. It can be a bridge. It can be a very good idea for the version of you that exists now, even if future-you eventually decides she wants something else.
You are not marrying your next job.
You are simply deciding whether you would like to go on a few dates.
I know how hard it can be to make sense of the pressures we pile on our shoulders in these moments so don’t forget you can book a FREE discovery session here to see how I might be able to help you.